Internet Dating... Bachelor #1

Hmmm.  Where to even begin.  

So, yes.  the internet dating "thing."  I go back and forth on my thoughts here (and... who's shocked?)(No-one?)(Moving on, then.) 

Years ago, when I first jumped off this cliff jumped on this bandwagon, I made a deal (with myself)(I don't ALWAYS share my crazy)(well, not right AWAY anyway)  I would take each.and.every.first.date.I.was.offered.  

No need to inquire as to how many second dates happened.  If memory serves?  There were 12 first dates.(and two seconds)(Yes, two)  I have since abandoned this logic. (may not have been my brightest moment)(truth in advertising here at FTL)  BEST part about that summer? (forever known as "the summer of reckless dating")  Approximately ten of those twelve dates?  Same restaurant. (It's a small town, I have LIMITED options for dining)(and I prefer not to pay my sitter for the extra hour commute to civilization town)

Any. way. 

For some ungodly reason (Ummm, I'm insane?) I thought, "Hey! Let's me, myself and I do a month on Match.com.  (Until I forgot to cancel it)(now it's two months)

And, I am pleased to say, Bachelor #1 made his debut (via a lunch date)(Safety first, kids) a few weeks ago.  Then, ALL the girlfriends descended.  No time for dating, there is wine to drink! and sun to sit in!

(and liquor store clerks to... yeah. Never mind)  

This type of logic may have factored into the liquor store clerk situation

 
And to his credit, Bachelor #1 was very understanding about all of this, and completely disappeared gave me some space for a week or so.  And, ummm?  I'm a girl.  We, uhhh, OVER analyze ALL the things.(If this is coming as news to anyone, we need to get you out more)(just sayin.)    

I decided he had probably met someone else closer to home (crazy man drives nearly 2 hours to take me out)(I know!) and went back to trolling the waters of Match.com. (ooh! and I'm totally having lunch with a DOCTOR this week)(I know!)

Ummmm... but then Bachelor #1 was back.  And, evidently?  Still interested.  Sigh.  This is where my special brand of crazy kicks in. This.just.gets.confusing! (inner dialogues ensue: Which guy did I tell THAT story to?)(Dammit, did I wear that to date #1 or #4?)

PS: I realize these are completely #firstworldproblems, trust me

So anyway.  We went.  We had dinner.  We had, I think, a lovely time.  I "sorta" heard from him the next day (random text)(all seems fine)(but then he disappears again)(and then I'm confused again)(who wants to live in MY head?)(exactly) 

And that, my lovelies is the tale of Bachelor #1.  Lunch with the Doctor (we shall call him Bachelor #2, I believe)(cause I'm orginal and creative like that)comes up later this week.  Stay tuned.  

Muah! 

  

Note to Self... Sometimes? You really CAN'T go back

Trust me on this one.  Pinky Swear.

So.... those of you who enjoy my Facebook ramblings, may recall a few weeks ago when a (YOUNG) man asked yours truly out. (Yes, he is the clerk at the liquor store)(Yes, I am there, errrmm... frequently)(What? I'm social, OK?)

This seemed like a fabulous idea at the time ( And, ummm? FLATTERED, much?)(Totally had to buy extra wine this weekend for a party)(Also? Totally went out of my way to go when he was working)(Because, evidently?  I am twelve.years.old)

I will say that the voice of reason started to whisper in the back of my head right about then. (Sigh) Knowing full well I have one night a week to "date" (true story)(my calendar is a wee bit tight) perhaps I should be reserving said one night a week for, oh, I don't know... gentlemen of a certain age? (I am rarely this sensible)(I don't expect it to last) 

Here's the thing.  When I was in my late mid twenties?  The men of my generation weren't quite so, umm... determined.  This young man was NOT taking no for an answer. (gulp)(To his credit, he is very sweet)(And knows full well how I old am)(Well...okay, he SORTA knows how old I am)

I had a HOUSEFUL of guests over the weekend.  They, too, thought this was fabulous.  And they thought they should ALL come along.  To meet the boy.  And his "buddies."  At a college bar. (Oh, yes)(Go right ahead and do THAT math)

I should perhaps take this opportunity to mention shortly after arriving at the bar (we didn't see them right away)(totally thought I was getting out of this)(not so much) I was informed by said young man that he is planning to marry me. (WHA??) Ummm... additionally, he informed me immediately after I told him I have two children, thankyouverymuch, that I will be having three more.  All Boys.(Again, WHA???)(Well, of course all boys)( I may have choked on my wine)

Can.not.make.this.stuff.up. 

Sidebar:  My house guests were COMPLETELY enjoying this show.  Especially when the "boys"  texted later that they had plenty of friends, and we should come over and "hang out" (In student housing)(Damn, I didn't get those kind of invites when I LIVED in student housing) 

We, however, after drinking ALL the wine in the finger lakes over the long weekend?  Chose to politely decline, and disregard the continued invitations (They are persistent, these boys)(Should this saga continue?)(I'll be sure to fill you in)

So... this here interweb-ey dating "thing"

I have, at various times in the last few five eight years, found myself to be single.  This was always sometimes my choice, sometimes my horrible poor choices in men and sometimes their choice (I know!)(Can you even IMAGINE?)

Thus, I have had, let's just say, some "experience"  with the PLETHORA (seriously, there are a kajillion)(totally a number) of sites out there.   Because I am also blessed with perennially single friends (Errm, no offense)(It's not us, it's them)(really)we have collectively visited ALL the sites.  (well.... let's just say, there are some which are more "specific" in terms of what the, ummm, "participants" desire)(Yeah, we haven't dabbled in those)(It takes all kinds, evidently)

A-hem.

So.  I now have the research, experience and history to speak authoritatively (trained professional here, people) on said sites.  (Opinions are my own)(Well...and my single girlfriends)(wine may have been involved)

Ready?  (I'll be brief)(stop laughing)

1. eHarmony.  Realize too late (while at work) that one REALLY needs to set aside a half day for the quiz.  Half-ass  pay detailed minimal attention to the questions.  Answer them as fast as you can. They.go.on.forever.  (Oh, you say to me, "but this is how we get matched on ALL the levels")(Uh-huh) Send in your fee(NOT small)(But I'm getting Married! you say to me)(Uh-huh) Submit Profile.

.......wait for the magic......
 
find future husband.  Seven.States.Away.(true story)(well, except for the future husband part)

2. Plenty of Fish.  FREE! (yay!)(what frugal men must be on this site)(until they solicit umm... let's just say, "services") OMG. Cannot.Log.Off.Fast.Enough.The End. 

3. Singlesnet.  This is tricky.  It's free. (sorta) One of the 2 parties needs to be a paying member in order to communicate (advice: Always make the boy pay)(Of course I'm liberated)(But let's not start a precedent here, mmmkay?) Also? Why, why, why so many men without.their.shirts.on?

4. OKCupid.  To be fair, friends have had luck here (and GOODIE for them, we say!)(not sure who this sudden "we" is I am referencing)(Moving on)  I had a lovely dinner with a man 22 years my senior.(He really was darling)(not quite my cup of tea)( He actually DID take me out for tea)(true story) 

5. Chemistry.  Trying to be eHarmony, but a bit racier (see above, re: this are ONLY my opinions)(don't get mad Chemistry people) More quizzes. More "deep" questions.  Also?  Gentlemen? A five paragraph essay? A bit much (see above: covertly doing this at work)

6. Match.  Yup. The biggie.  The one we all know about. (The one I KEEP forgetting to tell Paypal to STOP paying) Meh, it's fine. Same men, different screen names. (yawn)(but, *bonus* you can block those gentlemen (term used VEERRY loosely) requesting "services") Oh! and they have "mixers!" Get together! Meet ALL the singles! At cooking class! And the Bowling Alley!(shoot me)(it's just not my thing)(but really, go!)(mingle to your heart's content!) 

7. Christian Mingle.  OK.  Sure.  God has a plan, I get that (No, I really do) Errrm... but when one sees the IDENTICAL profile one has seen on four.other.sites. (I swear I don't stalk)(It was research) (sheesh) with the obligatory:  "May God Bless You" added? And sometimes, for flair? A scripture verse?(really, guys?)(a LITTLE effort?)(too much to ask?) 

Whew.  So, there's my initial recap. (still reading?)(you TOTALLY get a sticker) 

Up Next?  Helpful Hints for the Internet Dater.(for realz)(I am NOTHING if not informative)

For the Love...

So... A Blog.

Alrighty then.  Here goes.  For the five two people who MAY read this, here's a random list which make help to understand the rambling posts which are sure to follow. (Occasionally)(When I feel I have something to say)(Which?  Oh, please... when DON'T I have something to say) (A-hem) 

1.  "Real" Name: Cheryl.  What most people call me?  Charlie (that was my dad's concoction) (When I was 11)(so, NO, I don't think its because he suddenly had wished for a boy)(I don't think)

2.  I'm really, REALLY good at demolition.  I own a house built in 1841.  This means lathe and plaster walls.  The demo stories?  Inevitably don't end the way I want them to (although I keep trying)(And I run a mean Sawzall)(whilst wearing my pearls)(I have standards, people)

 3. The RE- construction part which comes after said demolition?  Yeah, Not so much. (I'll no doubt have MUCH to say this summer as I attempt to frame the wall I took out)(A year ago)(What? I got busy)

Wall Demolition, Summer 2012 (what? The soccer game was cancelled, we had to do SOMETHING)

4. I work in the world of Pageantry (No, not honey Boo-Boo)(Although I DO count "Mr.Todd" from TNT as a close friend)(Ummm...Toddlers and Tiaras?)(No, I don't watch it)(Oh! Umm...Unless you're on, Todd!  Then I am, of course, GLUED to the screen) My pageantry world?  Marching Band and Colorguard. (I call it"twirls")

5. My two chickadees mean the world to me (except for when they're driving me crazy)(It's not a far drive)(but still)

6. My car is a wreck.  I blame the chickadees (It's my own fault)

7. I operate a small dance studio and teach Pilates/Barre class.  You know, to like, grownups.  About 3 months into teaching said class?  I realized I should maybe "put up or shut up"  So, I'm in the process of losing some pounds.  This becomes a tedious process.  I refuse to give up coffee creamer. or gin.or wine.  So, more exercise it is.

8. There are days I will skip dinner in order to have a cocktail. (Not enough that it's a problem) (Trust me, I've asked around)(It was a very scientific study)

Detroit Airport. Terminal C. Ummm...They know me there... is that bad?

 9. I'm attempting internet dating.(ah-gain) Prayer is welcome

10. I'll never pretend to be a serious writer.  I have an overwhelming love of parenthesis.  I write how I talk. (I have a problem staying on task)(true story)(I'll get to my point)(eventually)

11. I'm trying to become a runner.  I kinda suck at it. But it makes for interesting stories.

I actually don't run in Chucks.  But they're way cuter than my running shoes.

12. I live in the middle of dairy farm country, and favor stilettos and black dresses. (I totally blend).

13. I have no idea what I'm doing here.  But my FB friends think this is a good plan. (If they say it on Facebook, it must be true)(right?)(....crickets....)

I'm now going to fly in the face of convention and leave this at 13. (bad luck?)(oh please)(wait til you hear read about me TRYING to fly anywhere)(Every.weekend)(all.winter.long)  

....and here we go :)  Thanks for coming along for the ride...ummm, Read? Yeah. Read.